god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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