we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
