oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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