Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
