drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
