your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
