The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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