the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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