Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
