I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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