I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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