You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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