hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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