i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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