You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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