so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
