i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize