she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize