Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
