I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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