In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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