i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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