He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
