hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
