Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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