so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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