You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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