Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
