Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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