my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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