Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
