i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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