She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
