At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
