He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
