Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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