So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize