Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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