It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize