There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
