i think my mom watched the whole time
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
