He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
