god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
