I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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