im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
