office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
