Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
