I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize