Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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