...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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