Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I could fuck to npr.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
