so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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