So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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