i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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