I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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