I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I hate all girls vehemently.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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