life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize