Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
