She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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