Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The uberlube is also flammable
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
