He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
